sleep

why is it that teenagers are always so tired?

parents...

why is it that parents have so much control over their children!? i understand that they are our parents and that they legally own us until we are 18 and then they throw us out the door into the real world... and they expect us to be a perfect person, but yet we have had no experience.. some people see that teenagers- spoiled, crazy, sleep 'till noon teenagers- who wouldn't be able to make it into the world if we were put into it at this very moment. i believe we could! we have what it takes, our parents just have a "wall" that blocks us from the real world and after some time we lose what we need to make it... so the parents see that this (invisible) force is gone and so they take over. some times i wonder if it is the parents that don't want to let go or if it is the teenager themselves that actually need the help! parents need to loosen their grip on their children.... i am not saying that they should left go so much that the child runs away and does something stupid, or that they get and do what ever they want, but just enough that the children still get some taste of the real world.... and then when they fail, the parents will always be there to help.

as i seat at home..

as i seat at home, sick, and finding it hard to breathe, i thought about all the things in life that could be different, if my parents did something different in their lives, not that i am complaining but life could be so much better if they hadn't made some decisions.... or if they would have made some different decisions. i know that some people would say that i should learn from their mistakes, but i find that if they say that then they haven't learned from their parents or friends mistakes, but it is so much harder then it sounds! in drama, we are doing a play where i play a girl who has a great life, and has an awesome relationship with God, and everything is going her way. life is easy for her. i wish it was that way for me! but it isn't. and some people would say to make the best of it, but really what can come out if it? life sucks! the other day i was wondering why is it the we (christians) usually only go to God in the good times? is it that we think that we are good enough to handle the hard things in life by ourselves!? well, we can't... at least not 99.9% of us can't! as christmas draws closer, and family grow closer together, mine is growing more appart! for christmas, most teenagers would want an ipod, or the coolest new electonic thing, i just want one day that there is no fighting in my house, and no one threatening anyone... just one peaceful day where it can actually be a day that i want to come home... usually i am afraid to come home and when i do... hell breaks lose.. and everything is apparently my fault, and everything is blamed on me! just one day, i just want one day.....


dear god, and santa :)
please just one day of quiet and peace at my house! i will do anything!

pay it forward- the movie

i was bored the other day so i decided to go over and i looked to see what dvds i had but hadn't watched. i found pay it forward. it was released in 2000. old, but looked interesting. It started as a social studies assignment… but it changed the world. Starring Haley Joel Osment, Helen Hunt, Kevin Spacey, and Jon Bon Jovi. His social studies teacher for the new school year — Eugene Simonet (Spacey) — gives the class a project: come up with an idea to change the world and put it into action. As the movie progresses the seventh grader comes up with an idea of paying it forward. As the idea hits the world, it quickly makes itsway to L.A. let's just say it is my new favorite movie... but its extremely sad. i was depressed for the rest of the night....

christmas! christmas is coming!!!!

'twas the night before christmas
and all throught the mall,
the last minute shoppers
were behind the eight ball.

they pushed and they shoved,
as they ran through the aisles,
and cussing and shouting
replaced all their smiles.

the cashiers were bitching
about getting a break,
and the people in line yelled,
"How long will this take?"

the clock is now ticking
as ths shelves emptied out,
the people were desperate
(and freaking out, no doubt.)

they hurried and grabbed
whatever they could,
a hammer! a sweater!
(it didn't have to be good.)

as the chain- link doors closed
i could hear the faint moan
christmas shopping is over-
it was time to go home.

and i laughed as i thought this
and i had some more wine (not for me though!)
because this year i shopped the smart way- ONLINE!!!!



as christmas grows closer and the temperatures change, and parents rush to stores to buy gifts for loved one, it makes me think of my friends and family that are not here this year for various reasons! the gifts should mean nothing and the real reason of christmas should emerge.

sorry. i was caught in the moment!

fall and winter- everyone in long sleeves and in blankets gathered around the television watching movies while it rains outside. the sound of the rain hitting the glassdoor and the cars. then, just after, when you step outside, coldness grabs you as if it will never left go. the ground, wet between your toes, and the smell of the damp earth makes you feel at home. the raindrops, reflecting little rainbows everywhere. as you wait, you see the huge rainbow start to emerge in the distance. as you watch, you realize your limbs are feeling numb so you walk back inside. as you come to the door, you see and feel the temperature rise. inside, the warmth of family and the heat from the house encloses around you. and your body warms up. as you drink the hot chocolate, you feel the steam coming out of the cup. just outside, you hear the rain start up again. you walk to the window while it all begins. this is my favorite time of the year. while you go back to watching the movie, you reflect on your life and think of the future. as chirstmas grows closer, children more excited, life begins to become stressful. having to buy presents, and stockings and a tree. then the night before, when children cant sleep and parents struggle to put presents together, the children grow more excited waiting for santa. the next morning comes. as the kids wait to walk into the living room to see their presents, they sometimes forget the real meaning of christmas. then they are released into the room. as they run and see their present, their faces show their happiness. they play with their toys while the parents relax. the stress is over. at least until they have to pick up all the trash.